In recent years, extreme behaviors between romantic partners have become of central interest within international academic research (e.g., Bélanger et al., 2021). Unfortunately, extremism in romantic relationships seems to be more widespread than one might expect (Cupach and Spitzberg, 2000; Sheridan et al., 2016). As an astonishing example, a recent study found that more than 50% of young adult undergraduate research participants reported having been victims of stalking and intrusive behaviors (Fais et al., 2020). Extremism in other realms is also a concern, including in professional settings. Indeed, more than 10% of the U.S. general population exhibits “workaholism” (Sussman et al., 2011; Andreassen et al., 2012). Such extreme workplace behavior threatens peoples’ personal relationships, mood, and physical health (Griffiths, 2011; Andreassen et al., 2012; Sussman, 2012). It is therefore necessary to understand the psychological processes underlying romantic and professional extremism, and to explore possible relationship between the two.

Extremism of all types is clearly explained by Kruglanski et al. (2021), who define extremism as a situation wherein one psychological need dominates all others, resulting in a motivational imbalance. In a such situation, individuals act in extreme ways, forgoing all other needs, in order to satisfy the dominant need. In the present paper, we identify the quest for significance (Kruglanski et al., 2022) as the universal human need which, when dominant, motivates individuals to enact a slew of extreme behaviors as prescribed by the relevant cultural narrative and social network. Moreover, we explore the possibility that when an individual’s significance need becomes dominant in relation to a particular life domain, they can satisfy that need by acting extremely in another valued life domain. More specifically, we investigate whether when one experiences a loss of significance with respect to a specific life domain (e.g., romantic relationships), they can restore their sense of significance by shifting their focus and acting extremely within another life domain (e.g., career).

Grounded in social-motivational psychology, Significance Quest Theory (SQT; Kruglanski et al., 2022) posits that all humans have a need for social significance—the feeling that they are important, that they are worthy of respect, and that they matter to others in their social network. The need for significance must be met according to the reality shared with others (Higgins, 2019), meaning that people can gain significance by serving culturally shared values and norms that are valued by their reference group (Webber and Kruglanski, 2016; Kruglanski et al., 2022).

According to the SQT, the magnitude of one’s quest for significance differs both between individuals and within individuals. That is, the need for significance can represent a chronic personality feature, with some having a stronger need for significance than others, but can also be situationally activated. The quest for significance can be activated by experiencing significance loss feelings or by perceiving opportunities for significance gain (Kruglanski et al., 2014). For example, experiences of humiliation (Brown and Dutton, 1995; Otten and Jonas, 2014) can damage individuals’ sense of mattering (Elliott et al., 2004) and ego-security (Downey et al., 1994; Feldman and Downey, 1994). Also, intense emotions originating from social exclusion (Baumeister et al., 1993), or failure (Brown and Dutton, 1995) can induce significance loss feelings, thereby activating one’s quest for significance. When the quest for significance is activated, for instance through a loss in their sense of significance, they strive to restore their sense of dignity and mattering.

One of the key assumptions of the SQT entails the substitutability of means through which one’s sense of significance can be attained. That is, the theory predicts that when people’s sense of significance is threatened with respect to some context, they could be motivated to restore their sense of mattering through substitute actions implemented within alternative contexts. For example, if a person is left by their romantic partner, surely a loss of significance, they will be motivated to restore their sense of significance through actions that match cultural cherished values, for instance, through professional success, thereby focusing their energy on their career.

The possibility that individuals can resolve their loss of significance through actions that are substitutable for each other has been anticipated by a large amount of evidence in social motivational psychology (e.g., Wicklund and Gollwitzer, 1981; Steele, 1988; Solomon et al., 1991; Sherman and Cohen, 2006). For instance, research grounded in symbolic self-completion theory (Wicklund and Gollwitzer, 1981) showed that those who feel incomplete regarding a self-defining goal restore their completeness through symbols (i.e., replacement elements) related to that goal. As another striking example, terror management research demonstrated that when people are reminded of morality, they restore their sense of safety by defending their cultural worldviews (for a review, see Greenberg et al., 2014).

As described above people must adhere to socially cherished values to restore their sense of significance. One such cherished value through which one can restore their significance is love (Contu et al., 2023). There are at least three reasons why love can confer social significance. First, being loved by a romantic partner make one feel worthy of affection, thereby directly enhancing one’s sense of significance. The human quest for love and attention, in fact, begins in infancy (Bowlby, 1979). Second, providing love to an amorous partner is likely to result in their reciprocation of love and appreciation, which, in turn, furnishes a sense of significance. Lastly, having a romantic relationship responds to culturally shared standards (Baumeister and Leary, 1995; Roberts and Robins, 2000), especially when one’s romantic partner is respected (i.e., validated) by one’s social network. Thus, having an amorous relationship, particularly one with a socially significant other, bestows a sense of significance.

Love does not stand alone in this respect, however. One’s professional life can also be a significance-affording domain. Beyond bestowing a material livelihood, one’s career can inform one’s identity, create relationships, and convey a sense of purpose (Andreassen, 2013). One’s career can similarly enhance one’s significance by granting one a sense of agency and independence as well as a sense that one has made a positive contribution to society. Indeed, many cultures measure life success through professional achievements (Parker and Chusmir, 1992).

Once an individual finds a life domain which they believe will provide them with social significance, they will tend to act extremely within that context when their need for significance becomes dominant. Following this logic, significance quest theory (Kruglanski et al., 2022) has been widely used to explain extreme behaviors and attitudes (Kruglanski et al., 2019). Accordingly, scholars have repeatedly found that when a person is driven by the need to renew their sense of significance (e.g., they have been humiliated), they are disposed to enact extreme behaviors (e.g., self-sacrifice) in pursuit of culturally-valued causes to gain respect from their network (Routledge and Arndt, 2008; Kruglanski et al., 2009; Olivola and Shafir, 2013; Dugas et al., 2016; Kruglanski et al., 2019). All the above-mentioned research, however, linked the personal quest for significance with extremism specifically in the forms of political activism or terrorism (Kruglanski et al., 2013). Expanding this knowledge, Resta et al. (2022) found that ambitious people, who have a strong need for significance, were prone to extremism via obsessive (but not harmonious) passion (Vallerand et al., 2003). Further, Contu et al. (2023) reported that people experiencing general feelings of significance loss were disposed to act extremely within their romantic relationships via obsessive (but not harmonious) romantic passion (Ratelle et al., 2013).

The findings from prior research described above make clear that general feelings of significance loss can bring people to act extremely within cherished and valuable life domains (Dugas et al., 2016; Kruglanski et al., 2019; Contu et al., 2023). However, it remains to be determined if experiencing significance loss related to a specific and important life domain (e.g., romantic life) can result in engaging in extreme behavior within an alternative but nevertheless important life domain (e.g., the professional life). Thus, in Study 1, we tested the hypothesis that significance loss feelings related to one’s romantic life can bring people to act extremely at work. Importantly, we also tested if our hypothesis remained consistent after controlling for variables that could have played an important role in this process (i.e., age, gender, relationship duration, and sexual orientation).

The results of Study 1 were consistent with our hypothesis. We thus conducted a second study to bolster our hypothesis and to extend our findings by testing the path opposite to that analyzed in the first study. Indeed, if people experiencing significance loss feelings related to the romantic context are more prone to extremism at work, then the reverse should also be true. Thus, Study 2 tested the hypothesis that people experiencing work-related significance loss feelings should be more disposed to act extremely toward their romantic partner. Given their importance within societies and cultures, romantic relationships, like professional success, should be a fertile ground where people can seek social significance. As in Study 1, we also tested if our hypothesis remained consistent after controlling for variables that could have played an important role in this process (i.e., age, gender, relationship duration, and participants’ sexual orientation).

Notably, in this second study, our examined outcome (i.e., extreme behavior) was obsessive relational intrusion (ORI; Cupach and Spitzberg, 1998). Explicitly, ORI has been defined as the repeated and undesired pursuit and invasion of one’s partner’s privacy. For example, ORI could include insisting that one’s partner not spend time with other people or demanding that one’s partner share their passwords for their personal devices. This specific type of extreme behavior is of particular interest because of its serious consequences for its victims. For example, being a victim of ORI is associated with poor health and high levels of depressive symptoms (Davis et al., 2002), as well as physiological, mental, and social disorders (Nguyen et al., 2012). Further, high levels of post-traumatic stress disorder have been found among victims of ORI (Basile et al., 2004), which showed also strong correlations with psychological maltreatment (Davis et al., 2000).

Drawing on Significance Quest Theory (Kruglanski et al., 2022), we hypothesized that people experiencing significance loss feelings related to a specific life domain can try to restore their sense of significance by acting extremely within another similarly important life domain. We based our hypothesis on the SQT’s key assumption entailing the substitutability of means through which one’s sense of significance can be attained. That is, the theory posits that when people’s sense of significance is threatened with respect a specific context (e.g., romantic relationships), they could be motivated to restore their sense of mattering through substitute actions implemented within alternative contexts (e.g., the workplace).

We tested these hypotheses across two studies, both employing samples of people who were both employed and engaged in a romantic relationship. Study 1 tested if people experiencing significance loss feelings originating in the romantic relationship domain were more prone to extremism at work. Following this logic, Study 2 tested the opposite path. Specifically, Study 2 tested whether people experiencing work-related significance loss were more prone to engage in obsessive relational intrusion (ORI) toward their romantic partner. Results from the two studies corroborated our hypothesis. Indeed, in both studies, significance loss feelings were significantly and positively associated with extremism at work (Study 1) and obsessive relational intrusion (Study 2), while controlling for participants’ age, gender, sexual orientation, and relationship duration.

Interestingly, these results illuminate a process in which significance loss feelings originating in life domains that are expected to be important sources of significance (e.g., career, romantic relationships) shift from one life domain to another, thereby pushing individuals to act extremely in life domains which are not directly connected with the origin of the experience of significance loss. Thus, these results suggest that, since having a stable romantic relationship and professional success are well-established sources of social significance (Bowlby, 1979; Parker and Chusmir, 1992; Baumeister and Leary, 1995; Roberts and Robins, 2000), maintaining one’s relationship or job should be considered fruitful ways to renew one’s sense of significance, even if the loss of significance originated elsewhere.

The raw data supporting the conclusions of this article will be made available by the authors, without undue reservation.

The studies involving human participants were reviewed and approved by the Ethics Committee of Department of Social and Developmental Psychology at “La Sapienza” University of Rome (protocol N. 572). The patients/participants provided their written informed consent to participate in this study.

FC, ME, AK, and AP contributed to the study conception and design. Material preparation, data collection and analysis were performed by FC, AP, and AK. The first draft of the manuscript was written by FC. Reviews and editing were provided by ME, and all authors commented on previous versions of the manuscript. All authors contributed to the article and approved the submitted version.

The authors declare that the research was conducted in the absence of any commercial or financial relationships that could be construed as a potential conflict of interest.

All claims expressed in this article are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of their affiliated organizations, or those of the publisher, the editors and the reviewers. Any product that may be evaluated in this article, or claim that may be made by its manufacturer, is not guaranteed or endorsed by the publisher.