Online teaching pedagogy is very different from an in-person classroom. Instant exchange of body language, such as eye contact and nodding, etc. are limited by the camera in an online setting, teachers are burdened with identifying and dismissing boredom using a wide array of classroom interactions and activities (Naylor and Nyanjom, 2021; Taguchi, 2020). A virtual teaching space requires teachers to have high digital literacy and be familiar with the functions of the applications such as breakout rooms (Pangrazio et al., 2020), muting functions, etc. Teachers have become the central reason for the flow of emotions, apart from undertaking self-blame and self-doubt, they have to be extra observant, react swiftly to dismiss students' boredom and be pleasant enough to sustain concentration and attention from students.

The emotional transaction occurs during classroom events, in other words, the classroom itself is an emotional place (Schutz and Pekrun, 2007); the transactions depend highly on the individuality of teachers and students. In both online and in-person classrooms, an emotional transaction takes place, as it depends highly on teachers' perspectives, self-perceived identities and beliefs; the emotional flow in an online classroom is positively correlated to the teacher's beliefs in online teaching. Emotional dissonance occurs when teachers experience conflict between their feelings and the perceived display rules they are expected to follow (Morris and Feldman, 1996; Schutz and Pekrun, 2007). When such emotional baggage is not resolved, disequilibrium occurs, often resulting in emotional exhaustion. Furthermore, as emotions are constantly transacted between teachers and students, the feelings of teachers directly impact students' learning (Pekrun, 2022, 2024). Teachers' enjoyment and enthusiasm have been proven to induce enjoyment of classroom activities and instruction in students; this also relates to the contagious nature of emotions known as reciprocal causation in the dynamical systems theory (Pekrun, 2022, 2024). To regulate achievement emotions in the classroom, four aspects have been discussed: first, to target the emotion per se using relaxation techniques such as breathing methods; second, to address the value underlying emotions through cognitive restructuring and therapy sessions; third, to increase one's academic competences, such as training of learning skills; and lastly, to adjust the academic environments through classroom instructions and activities (Pekrun, 2022). Achievement emotions are centered on students, yet this article explores the possibility of expanding them to teachers, as teachers are also learners in the classroom, especially in an unfamiliar teaching setting. Recognizing the need to regulate and manage achievement emotions for teachers, implies that teachers should also reflect on their current values to tackle the underlying emotions, upgrade their skills such as online teaching tools and techniques, and design classroom instructions and learning environments that are mutually enjoyable for themselves and their students.

Transformative learning is an adult learning theory created by Mezirow (1991). The theory has three essential elements: individual experience, critical reflection, and dialogue (Mezirow, 2000a, 2012; Taylor and Cranton, 2012). As the theory develops, more core elements have been identified: a holistic orientation, an awareness of context and an authentic practice. Reflection is prioritized as it shapes how an individual makes sense of an experience or an event. The critical disjuncture marks the beginning of any possible transformation later, Taylor (2017) added that one's life experience is indeed a determinant factor of how individuals engage in dialogue and reflection; the critical disjuncture or disillusionment experienced by an individual opens a pedagogical entry point (Taylor, 2017). Upon reflection, individuals re-examine their personal and professional values; as the process takes place, Jarvis (2012) pointed out that a narrative point of view usually leads to identifying characteristics, values and actions that are opposite to one's own. It is precisely these contrasting values that provoke meaning-making and re-making and trigger critical reflection, which facilitates transformative learning, thereby enabling a more direct and holistic point of view in individuals. An inseparable relationship exists between transformative learning and an individual's emotions and feelings. Mezirow (2000b) identifies three types of meaning perspective transformations: content, process, and premise. Perspective transformation arises from an individual's recognition of conflicting emotions, thoughts, and actions. Content transformation focuses on reflecting on how one perceives, thinks, feels, and does; process transformation examines how one carries out the act of perceiving; and premise transformation involves understanding why one perceives as they do, that is, identifying the underlying structures that developed the individual's current values (Mezirow, 2000a). Together, these elements underpin critical reflection. Gaining full awareness of one's emotions and feelings is crucial in achieving transformation in content—a connection between perception and emotions substantiated by numerous scholars (Chen, 2020; Brosch, 2021; Wulf, 2023; Moore and Hodges, 2023).

The contagious nature of emotions must not be neglected; as emotions flow in the classroom, emotions experienced by teachers reflect their self-perceived identities (Zembylas, 2003) as emotional transaction occurs, beliefs, goals and standards are also transacted at a social-historical-contextual level (Schutz and Pekrun, 2007). The phases in transformative learning could be applied to regulate such transactions. To better illustrate, Figure 1 has been created.

Pekrun has postulated 4 ways to regulate achievement emotions building on the control-value theory: emotion-oriented regulation and treatment, appraisal-oriented regulation and treatment, competence-oriented regulation and treatment, and design of academic environments (Pekrun, 2006). Emotion-oriented regulation targets emotions directly through relaxing techniques such as breathing; appraisal-oriented regulation is cognitive restructuring, which involves self-examining the underlying emotions; competence-oriented regulation reflects current skills and recognizes the need to improve; design of academic environments is about classroom instruction. Figure 1 postulates that the ways are directional, each regulation requires more in-depth reflection than the last. This overlaps with Mezirow (1991)'s transformative learning theory and describes the steps in the TL framework: self-examination of feelings, critical assessment of assumptions, and search for new roles and reintegrating them into life, which is rephrased as “enacting transformation in life” in Figure 1. According to the transformative learning framework, when an individual reflects on one's perception and becomes aware of one's feelings and thoughts that contrast each other, one examines the frame of reference. Frame of reference categorizes experiences, beliefs, people, events, and the self (Mezirow, 2000b, p. 22). Habits of mind, however, are concerned with how an individual thinks and feels on a much more individualized level as they center on one's habits of thought process. By incorporating Pekrun's four steps in regulating achievement emotions into the transformative learning framework, the key step is critical self-reflection and reintegration into life, which can be broken down into several parts: (i), teachers need to examine existent values and identify the current frames of reference; (ii) by exploring one's course of action, new knowledge must be acquired to adjust the current frames; and (iii) to build confidence and skills in assisting individuals to channel meaningful reflections into reintegration in life.

Five schoolteachers teaching in Hong Kong, Canada and Taiwan were interviewed. These informants were approached by snowball sampling. The first two informants were teachers I know who were teaching at two different school types; each was asked to invite one other informant working in another school, and the fourth informant also invited another teacher from a different school to the research. This reduces sample biases and introduces diversity within the sample. Semi-structured interviews and open-ended questions were used so that informants could describe their stories and experiences in detail (Creswell, 1998; Mezirow and Taylor, 2009). This research examines how schoolteachers interpret the shifts in education brought about by the pandemic and how they perceive their professional identity in the context of the digital age.

These schoolteachers work in five different secondary schools in Hong Kong, Canada, and Taiwan. These three regions are selected because continuous professional development is prioritized in them; moreover, as each region has diverse classrooms, teachers' experiences might be moderate due to cultural inclusivity. Technology integration into education has also become increasingly important in these regions at a similar development speed. Owing to this, it is believed that the cross-cultural case studies in this research would bring meaningful insights regarding teachers' experiences during the pandemic. Table 1 has been created to describe their demographic background.

This interdisciplinary qualitative research incorporates digital fieldwork, including online interviews with informants and virtual classroom observations, where I participated as a guest in one of my informants' online classes. Memo writing and field notes were compiled during each semi-structured interview. Keywords, key phrases and significant emotions were jotted down in the fieldnotes to enable smoother analysis later. Due to varying consent, only two interviews were audio-recorded; the recorded interviews were conducted in English or translated into English. To increase validity, memo writing and field notes were jotted during the interviews, and a preliminary analysis of keywords was conducted immediately after the interviews based on the memo and field notes. Moreover, informants were asked to review the quotes used in the research results to verify the accuracy and completeness of the data. I have also sent a copy of the research article to them to see if the quotes and discussion reflected their thoughts and feelings accurately. All of them replied, and the feedback was positive so far.

Digital participant observation was also conducted in the study, digital ethnography was applied through online interviews and virtual participant observation. An online classroom observation session was arranged via MicrosoftTeams. To minimize the effects on Mr John's students, they were not told that I was there as a researcher, but that I was there as an observer to John's teaching. As the lesson shows the faces of students, video recording As was not conducted at all to protect the students. To increase validity, field notes were written and I also stayed behind for about 30 min to double check a few details with Mr John when the lesson was over. Digital ethnography is a new research method; though a relatively new and unconventional research method, it is a valid and valuable tool for understanding contemporary fields, particularly in studies focused on digital learning. This research is instrumental as it focuses on digital learning. Digital ethnography emerged in the 2000s, particularly regarding how ethnography could be moved to the digital world and how ethnography can help anthropologists understand the digital world (Pink et al., 2015). It is an approach that invites researchers to consider the effects of digital media in shaping ethnography; this research employs digital ethnography by conducting interviews and participant observation online.

The interview asked the following questions:

Narrative analysis was used in the data analysis, as it allows a more complete interpretation of informants' emotional experiences, which is the focus of this research. The theoretical basis of narrative analysis stems from Gadamer (2003)'s Bildung, which loosely translates as the image of humans. In-depth interviews provide the space for informants to speak about their experiences, and from the narratives they have chosen, the underlying values that protrude in the conversation allow room for researchers to grasp the perspectives to capture the image that the individual has regarding the research subject at hand. Thick description is incorporated in the data analysis and discussion to include the informants' narration and viewpoint in as much depth as possible.

Thematic analysis was employed in the data analysis process to identify and interpret repeated keywords and similar patterns within the data as reflected in Table 2. This method provides flexibility to delve beyond surface-level content, exploring underlying meanings and implicit and explicit ideas held by the informants. The recurring themes were finalized based on the recurring and strong emotions shown in my informants' story narration, the content and experiences they were describing were compared, and the commonality between them was identified as the themes.

Narrative analysis provides a clear narration from the informants regarding how they understand the experiences, how they structure the story, how it was told, and the events that they highlighted and showed specifically strong emotions reflect their personal identity, value and what the experiences mean to them. Thematic analysis provides the possibility to analyze and categorize the emerging themes and patterns across data sets. Recurring ideas are discussed and summarized, which is crucial to understanding the commonality in the informants' experiences.

While the informants come from diverse cultural backgrounds, cultural differences primarily influence their emotional expressions, reflecting the behavioral dimension of emotions. However, this paper focuses on the emotions experienced by the informants, adopting a hermeneutic perspective that posits individuals from different cultures can share similar emotional experiences (Beatty, 2019). Five key themes emerged in this research, they were identified by strong emotions repeatedly mentioned by these informants, and by linking the emotions back to the incident that they were describing, the issues were identified as the themes that protrude. These recurring themes consistently in the informants' narratives about their experiences.

When asked to describe their experiences during emergency remote teaching, most informants agreed it was chaotic, and they all reported a lack of structure from the school and other teachers teaching the same subject, and a lack of technical support (such as tutorials on which software to use and how to utilize all functions in it) from the education bureau and the school. When ERT was implemented, only two of my informants (Ms Nadia and Mr John) had previously been trained to conduct lessons online. Still, they also shared similar emotional experiences with the others: a sense of helplessness, confusion and anxiety. Pressley (2021b)'s study on how the pandemic impacted teachers' self-efficacy revealed that teachers had the lowest instructional efficacy when teaching virtually as compared to hybrid and in-person, which also echoes to the anxiety that is reported by informants in this study. Remote teaching anxiety denotes teachers' anxiety precisely when the teaching is conducted online (Ma et al., 2022). As reflected in these informants, one key reason was their unpreparedness for suspending in-person schooling and the shift to virtual mode < 2 months after “COVID-19” was first detected. These informants have not received sufficient training on online teaching; they felt incompetent and lacked self-confidence during ERT. Full-scale remote teaching has altered my informants' familiar social realities, bringing disorientation.

Another source is the feeling of being monitored by students' parents. In a physical classroom, such possibilities could never happen without formal and former school invitations, e.g., lesson observations are quite common in schools. However, in a virtual environment, teachers will not know if students' parents are also sitting in class. At the start of ERT, this caused lots of anxiety in my informants, thereby stirring up negative emotions when they were teaching, and negatively affecting the online classrooms as these emotions are transacted to their students (Pekrun and Marsh, 2022).

A third source of anxiety comes from how other teachers in school counted heavily on his knowledge and experiences of online teaching. Mr. Allan was promoted during the pandemic to be in charge of teacher training in using digital tools. Allan did not see himself as an expert in online teaching, but he was the only one who had ever conducted blended learning before. As he pointed out, other teachers in his department have been teaching for two decades without digital tools, so they were reluctant. This is also consistent with the research findings from previous scholars, Remmi and Hashim (2021) found that veteran teachers prefer traditional methods over online tools because they are more familiar with them, making them feel more secure and comfortable.

A fourth source of anxiety is students' feedback from cross-classroom comparisons. Standardization in digital teaching and how it should be used after school was not present, teachers rely on one's judgement and rubrics. As Mr John described, “The lack of standardization caused students to compare the lesson structure and formats with one another, resulting in extra stress for teachers.” Some teachers might be more familiar with digital tools, while it is still new for others; students' cross-classroom comparison put teachers in a position to “compete with each other.” John mentioned “a sense of defeat” when he was given suggestions to use Kahoot “just like the other class.”

As reflected in John's narrative above, the frustration lies in how some teachers are not making enough effort to deliver quality online classes to students. He is also anxious because students could give constructive feedback about the delivery of the classes, which could also appear to be directive and commanding, a power dynamic that teachers are usually not used to. He also expressed concerns regarding the fact that not every student dares to voice out their needs, nor directly to the involved teachers. In the case when another student asked to join his class, it was difficult to handle as the other teacher involved was the department head. For Mr. John, mainly working in Hong Kong, a city embedded with the cultural values of respecting one's superior, it was particularly difficult and socially inappropriate in the situation.

It has been established in numerous research that quality teacher-student relationships are critical to students' academic achievements; the development of rapport with students is especially important because it allows teachers to understand students better as a person, and to identify and possibly solve problems that students face in life. It has also been expected that teachers take up the role and be able to identify students with family issues and/or school bullying, etc., (Kaufmann and Vallade, 2020). Students spend the most time at school with their teachers, while the most with their parents or guardians, teacher-student relationships are therefore very important (Lave and Wenger, 1991).

In online classrooms, teachers find it challenging to feel respected from their students, as the lack of physical presence and body language make it almost impossible to ensure students are giving their full attention. The shift to a virtual classroom has made it difficult for Mr. Allan to trust his students, the power dynamic was very different, and he felt powerless and insecure as students could switch off their cameras anytime they wished. Hermino and Arifin (2020)'s research discussed the restriction of electronic devices in schools; whereas in a virtual classroom, not only is the restriction impossible, but students also face little to no consequence even when caught being on their phones. Ms. Nadia described it as “a game of chess,” teachers have to find a strategic way to discipline their students as erring them too much might also cause disinterest or disengagement in online classes.

Proper and appropriate class dynamics rely on teachers' goal setting and rules writing with their class at the beginning of the semester (Sprick et al., 2021). In offline classes, rules usually focus on students' behaviors, such as not chatting amongst themselves during lessons, not talking back to their teachers, etc. Although these rules might seem trivial, they formulate the base of how a good student is expected to behave. In a virtual classroom, extra time is placed on administrative measures just to ensure students are present on Zoom. Some teachers place pop quizzes at random times to make sure students are still sitting in front of the computer and not wandering around or daydreaming. The effectiveness of these adjustments is often correlated to the variation of adjustments, but the variations depend highly on the digital literacy of teachers. For those who have relatively lower digital literacy, they might simply require students to keep their cameras on. However, it is not practical, first, there is the issue of privacy; second, students can still come up with excuses. In Mr. John's experience, his students lied to him about the malfunctions of their cameras. He then gave them a deadline to get their devices fixed. Mr. John has an Instagram account that he uses to post video clips that explain Mathematics concepts to his students. He realized the students lied to him about the cameras because of a post they did, feeling disappointed, he then spoke with each of the students privately, and they promised it would not happen again. Although it worked out all right in the end, the process required lots of extra time, effort, and mental strategies.

The most significant difference in students reported was the issue of learning losses. Teachers find it worrying as the curriculum did not make any adjustments because of the pandemic, it implies that teachers are responsible for 3 years of subject knowledge in one academic year to help students catch up. As described by Ms. Kelly, students have lost 2 years. She noted that learning loss was related to students' lack of concentration in online settings, the lack of self-discipline and self-efficacy are the direct cause, although she also noted that students with lower SES might face more difficulties than others. Access to resources such as a desk, an electronic device with a camera and microphone, a stable network, etc., is not the same for every student. The correlation between resources and students' achievements has been discussed for years (Singh, 2016; Hubalovsky et al., 2019; Kuhfeld et al., 2023); yet in online learning, these inequalities are amplified; the burden and the consequences of widened learning gap have been shifted to teachers.

Another observable learning loss was social learning loss. Communication is key to learning and acquiring knowledge (Lave and Wenger, 1991). In a virtual classroom, organic interactions in students are no longer present, they are either put into “breakout rooms” to conduct compulsory academic conversations, or they simply do not interact with each other. Mr Allan has observed that students have become less sociable and more distant from their classmates after the pandemic. Mr. Allan spoke about the missed out on team-building opportunities and occasions such as Sports Day, School Outing, subject field trips, informal class gatherings, etc. However, those interactions are fundamental to peer relationships and the establishment of friendships. Teachers have expressed worries and sorrows for their students, Mr. Allan highlighted that students' social learning loss can only be resolved with time and life experiences.

The last interview question concerns informants' views regarding teachers' obsolescence in the future, and the informants are pretty optimistic about the irreplaceability of teachers. In the process of their narrations, steps of transformative learning can be traced. In the year 2023, generative AI tools such as ChatGPT and image generation gained popularity once they became available to the public. The usage of ChatGPT has been discussed as a concerning phenomenon in the academic community, as it threatens intellectual property. Even in schools, teachers expressed concerns that students might abuse these readily available tools in doing their assignments. However, the informants can see a substantial weakness of AI, Mr. Allan noted the inaccuracy and inability to improvise based on the predicted emotional responses of users. Having said that, all informants use AI tools for lesson preparation, especially for classroom design, and rubrics writing for classroom activities. However, they all agree that further usage is not practical at this time, as high order thinking skills are not possible in these tools, thereby lacking the ability to replace teachers, who can think, feel and react based on students' responses and unspoken emotional clues and unique learning needs. For this reason, my informants are positive about teaching being sustainable in the future.

Another essential feature of the uniqueness of teachers is “teachers' voice;” as denoted by John, “It's up to the teachers. If you see it as a job, and you teach only the subject knowledge and nothing more, you are already replaceable now, AI or not, this type of teacher should not be working in a school. Teaching is not just a job, it's a vision and a mission, as long as you have that mindset, you cannot be replaced.” It may be true that students have access to the vastness of information online, and numerous sources of shadow educators. However, my informants pointed out that the feeling of being cared for is irreplaceable—when students feel that teachers genuinely care about them, not just their learning, but themselves as individuals, it is the foundation of a good teacher-student relationship (Kitchenham, 2008; Vighnarajah and Bakar, 2008; Keiler, 2018; Ma et al., 2022). To achieve so, teachers must recognize that “teaching is more than a job” and be able to see the teaching role as a vision, a mission that entitles them to connect with students while being their moral compass. Embracing individuality in both students and teachers, therefore, seems to be the key to avoiding being replaced by AI. Ms. Nadia described it as “the importance of enjoying my work and being passionate about teaching.” More than three informants described the key to bonding with students and connecting with them is by addressing one's human side, seeing students as individuals, to treating them as equals and with respect while demanding reciprocity—a quality that AI will not be able to achieve, at least until they can think and be able to handle moral dilemma.

Transformative learning was evident in all informants, Kayla and Nadia have become more digitally competent and have shifted their perspectives regarding digital tools. Even though Nadia still believes that digital tools could be harmful to the cognitive development of children, she is not reluctant to use them in class, “as long as it could help the students regain their interests in Spanish. As for Nadia, she has shifted her perspective from being reluctant to use Chromebooks, to using them more often and accepting that it is a natural development of education in the digital era that we are in today. Kelly and Allan did not have training in online teaching before, but the pandemic has also equipped them with some new skill sets. They all believe that the development of AI will not replace teachers, and they are hopeful about it since they see the intrinsic values of the subjects that they teach. They have all found their places in post-digital education, the pandemic allowed them to reflect deeply on their teaching identities and consolidated the perspective that teachers' irreplaceability stems from their emotionality, compassion and empathy (Lee et al., 2024). With the newly acquired narrative, these teachers have learnt to embrace their own, and their students' individuality and reintegrate into their teaching profession.